Wow. We have been married 3 months. How can it only have been 3 months?! It seem like it has been AT LEAST 3 years. In some ways great- just because it seems we have been ‘Team Jones’ for a very very long time. That is the great part. However, I think that it has seemed like we’ve been married for a very long time already because we have face some pretty large giants right out of the gate.
You know, those of you that are married, that there are some unexpected adjustments that need to be made after you get married. In my case- I go from super single to...BOOM, Married! In a few months time. It kinda took a minute for my mind and body to catch up with my reality. An exciting reality non the less- but still, It is different. Very different, life changing kind of a different. Yet subtle at the same time. I am still me, same personality, same experiences that have led me to this point. Still Haley. But all that Haley was, is, and now will be is suddenly just half of a whole. Nothing has been taken away from me, or changed from my original make and model- it’s just all of the sudden there’s been an addition. A huge addition. It’s doubled my experiences. My ability to reach. My perspective. It really is a modern day miracle as I embrace marriage as I believe it was intended to be.
So, the normal major adjustments. Now let us add on to that a sinking business. A business my husband had the vision for long before he knew I even existed. In fact, this dream and vision he wrote back when he was in prison in 1997. Yes, you read that right. Prison. Now anyone who knows anything about me knows that back in 1997, as I was a junior in high school and captain of my cheerleading squad and the upcoming VP of the Student body at my private christian high school- would know that in my wildest dreams that the man I was going to marry 16 years later was at that time, incarcerated. Wow. Watch out ladies and gentlemen, you never know what is in store for you- we all keep ourselves very busy making plans and such (I am no exception) but I am here to tell you. It is a rare case that things work out according to our plans. Back to the business- James had a vision for what is now Kairos Katering. He opened in 2005. It’s been anything but ‘smooth sailing’. However, the lessons learned have been insurmountable. If you know anything about James (and I guarantee if you do know some of his story, what you know is only the tip of the iceberg), you know that he is a living, breathing story of hope. Overcoming impossible childhood circumstances, finding himself in prison at age 19 for 7 years. James was released from prison a new man, literally he was made new, new life and entirely new direction. Of course all of our experiences stay with us and require facing head on. Dealing and overcoming these circumstances in his case extended far beyond him getting out of prison. Yes he has, he is, and he will continue to use the past chapters of his life story not to define him moving forward- but to learn from and to let people see that just because we might fail, does not make us failures. That we will experience difficulties, unimaginable difficulties at times, but you can take heart! Because the One who lives in us has conquered this world, so we can feel assured and embrace peace that passes any of our natural understanding.
Well you know what, that little pep talk I just wrote- that is for me, right now. 3 months. That ‘Happily Ever After’ we all talk about didnn’t mean that I wouldn’t face a business that is the better part of a half a million dollars in debt. A husband and leader who is utterly exhausted with the past 7 years of trying to ‘make it work’. Not enough money to pay the phone bill, just to mention one of several pretty necessary bills that there are no funds for. He has been to the quitting point more times than I can count, just since we got married. Now he feels the responsibility to take care of me on top of all of this. He’s not afraid to work. This I know. He could go find a job tomorrow and bring in a lot more money than he is right now. It doesn’t feel right though. The lessons we are learning in this process, this uphill climb, facing what seems to be an impossible situation, are priceless. Priceless indeed. We are what feels like to me blindly moving forward. Working like it depends on us- believing like it depends on Him. Going, Fighting, Going, Fighting, Falling, Fighting. Have we won? In the big picture, the grand scheme of things: Absolutely. But what does ‘Winning’ look like in the world of Kairos Katering. You know what, I have NO idea. And I can tell you it is exhausting trying to figure it out. So therefore, I surrender. I surrender my ideas and plans (although normally I feel like my plans and ideas are pretty stellar). This is beyond what I am capable. It is beyond what James is capable. We are still fighting. Fighting Fighting Fighting. Simply because we don’t feel it is time to stop fighting. What are we fighting for? Hope. We’re fighting for Hope. And in this great battle, there is peace.
I am reminded to direct my attention to my husbands life to this point. His story is one that drips of hope and victory- in the face of impossibilities. I don’t know how this Kairos story will end. Heck, I’m just waiting to see what’s in the next chapter. What I do know is that it will not be what we expect, but it will be a story of Hope. A story I look forward to telling as it unfolds. I am confident there is a Plan, and this plan will exceed, far abundantly more than James or I could hope or imagine. And I’m pretty excited about that.
Going. Fighting. Winning.
To the end,
Haley Jones
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